Adopting a troubled child

by Anne Stevenson

This is the story of a PIH community health worker in Rwanda, Therese Mukukamari, and Uwimana, a boy suffering from mental health issues who Therese and her family have adopted. Uwimana is one of the first success stories to emerge from the Harvard/PIH Family Strengthening Intervention project.

“When we first met ‘Uwimana’ he was 10 or 11. Because he was an orphan living in the Kageyo refugee camp, we still aren’t quite sure how old he is,” recalls Therese Mukukamari from her home in Seka, Rwanda. “He was a delinquent who would roam up and down the streets.”

“Uwimana would seek shelter for a night from someone, and the following morning he would leave without telling anyone,” says Therese. “He would sleep under trees, or next to the home of people in the neighborhood who would offer some food in the morning. When I asked him why he was sleeping outside, I learned that he was hungry and alone.”

Knowing that Uwimana was sleeping outside the home Therese shared with her husband and children, she got up early one morning to ensure that her young guest didn’t run away. She convinced him to come inside and eat breakfast.

An act of generosity quickly took a dangerous turn for the worse. “Uwimana fought with my daughter -- beating her until she became unconscious,” says Therese. “We rushed her to the hospital.”

Therese and FSI Program Manager Anne discuss strategies to help Uwimana continue to grow.

Unloved and without a family

Prior to finding a new home with Therese’s family, Uwimana had been living in Kageyo, a region home to Rwandan refugees – families repatriating to Rwanda from Tanzania after fleeing in the late 1990s. Some of his time had been spent living on and off with a woman from the camp. 

“Instead of providing good parenting, of being motherly, [this woman] beat the child, leaving him to feel like no one ever loved him,” says Therese. In fact, like many orphans living in refugee camps, he had been abused and mistreated for much of his life.

Having worked for two years on PIH/IMB’s Family Strengthening Intervention’s Community Advisory Board (CAB), a project that trains people to recognize and deal with mental illness and depression, Therese realized Uwimana was sick.

At CAB meetings, staff teach local people about mental health and illnesses, explaining what causes them and how they manifest, specifically in children. This includes talking about illnesses caused by violence, mistreatment, poverty and poor care. Staff discuss mental health care at the family level, explaining what CHWs can do to help families with problems, and the role they can play in improving their conditions.

Therese would later learn that Uwimana had no memory of his parents. He had never lived with a family, and even worse, he had never felt loved. Therese was more determined than ever to take Uwimana in.  

“If I had not been trained, I probably would have just shown him pity and provided him with some food,” explains Therese. “Instead, I took the responsibility to accept the child into my home and to become his caregiver.”

With his new mother’s love, Uwimana is reborn

This new journey required patience, but Therese knew what she had to do. “I stayed with him, showed him love, and he started calling me ‘mother.’ I talked with him and I showed him how people live together in harmony. He would show me the scars on his hands, they used to tie his hands. He was so quiet.”

As time passed, so too did Uwimana’s anger. “He began to trust me,” says Therese. “If someone beat him in the community during the day he would resist fighting, Uwimana would come and tell me. He realized that I loved him and whatever I would give to my own children, I would double for him so as to be convinced that someone loved him.” 

“Now Uwimana is a part of our family and works around our home, he takes care of the cows and even builds fires for them at night,” Therese proudly states.“He used to sleep by himself outside with the goats; now he knows I love him and he lives with us. I treat Uwimana the same way I do my own children.”

When asked what Therese sees in his future, the answer comes quickly and with confidence: “He is striving and I plan to take him to school this next year. If Uwimana grows older and is able to look after himself, I would be incredibly pleased.”

“I am grateful for the training I received from FSI,” says an empowered Therese. “Not only has the training helped change the life of this boy, but it has allowed me to help many people in my village through my work as a community health worker.”

“The training opened my mind about mental illness and helped me better understand what children like this experience – as a result I am educating other adults in my village on how harmful physical abuse is.”

Fredrick Kanyanganzi and Anne Stevenson conducted this interview in the summer of 2011. 

Learn more about the Family Strengthening Invention project.
Read about PIH’s work in Rwanda.